Have you ever wanted to own land in all 50 states? Of course you have! And now, thanks to the miracle of the internet, you can for as little as $20. Just go to
OwnAPieceOfAmerica.com and stake your claim. There's one catch though— you only get one square inch of land in each state. So you can't actually build a house on your property, or ever go capming there, but at least you get to brag about owning land in all 50 states to everyone who's stupid enough not to ask how much.
Speaking of my psychic powers (by the way, I have psychic powers and you were speaking of them), I psychically read your mind and found out what you were wondering: Did I take advantage of this offer? Well no, I didn't; I'm not going to pay for land I can't use. I did, however, take advantage of another offer from the same website. If you don't want to pay for land in all 50 states, you can get a single square inch of land in just one state absolutely free. Why would anyone give out free land, you ask? Because they, like the
Universal Life Church Monastery, understand that if you give something out for free that no one in their right mind would give out for free, you can then sell certificates to all your customers so their friends will believe them.
It's an odd business model, but I now own a square inch of land because of it. Where, you ask? In the sunny, beach-filled, vacation hotspot that is . . . North Dakota! Ha ha, just kidding. The square inch of land I own is in Florida. More specifically, it's in Okaloosa County, Florida, way off in the panhandle where no one will ever be able to find it, even if they had a reason to. I did get directions to my square inch of property from
OwnAPieceOfAmerica.com though, so maybe someday I'll try to find it. Who knows, maybe someday I'll go on vacation to— I mean,
near my property.
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If you are the General Manager of an NFL team, then why haven't you traded for Brett Farve yet with the intention of immediately trading him to the Vikings, you moron?!?
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